"Here is your baby's heartbeat. Very strong, looks great." little pause. "And here is the second heartbeat, also very strong." Second heartbeat? That is all I remembered from our doctor's visit when we found out we were having twins. Pretty sure I blacked out after that. Two heartbeats. Two little humans growing inside me. But I only signed up for one baby. Now I have to go through a very high risk pregnancy and buy two of everything? What about my dreamy pregnancy that I always envisioned? Ya that is out the window.
Those were my original thoughts after I found out we were expecting identical twins. I have always been a planner and had come up with what I thought my life would look like. Twins were definitely never considered. That week was a very emotional week. My life all of a sudden looked so much different to me. I actually couldn't picture it. I was afraid, confused and slightly panicked. But little did I know, having twins would be the best things to happen to me. Having TWO little faces smile up at me every morning would change my world like nothing else had before. TWO babies laughing, reaching for my face and holding on to me would now be my new normal, and that new normal is better than anything I had envisioned before.
I want to tell you guys how having twins has actually, believe it or not, slowed me down. It's made me appreciate things so much more and actually enjoy living in the moment. Now let me be clear and say that having two babies, the same age, can be pretty intense at times. The first four months were extremely hard. The girls were so fussy and all I truly remember around that time was lots and lots of crying. Did I mention there was a lot of crying? Once four months hit, the sun came out and life got a whole lot easier. Granted, each month comes with new challenges, but for the most part, every day gets so much easier. I decided I wanted to write down my thoughts on this topic one day while I was sitting outside with the girls. They were in their bouncers, playing with toys and I was sitting in a chair next to them enjoying a glass of rose'. The wind was blowing and the sun was shinning on my back. (Oh, and my phone was inside.) It was in that moment that I felt so happy and so content. I was disconnected to the 'media' world (which is hard to do considering it's my job), but so connected to this sweet moment with my girls. I was thinking that I never in a million years would have sat outside and just BE, pre-kids. I would feel like I was wasting my time and could be doing something else that was more productive. It didn't occur to me that taking a little time to do not much of anything was actually really needed. When you are on your phone all day long, checking emails constantly and always creating to-do lists, you get caught up in this never-ending cycle of go-go-go. I mean, yes it's important to get work done, but now I'm realizing that it doesn't need to be 24/7. There is enough time in the day to take some moments to just be. Then, when it is time to get things done I find myself being so much more productive than before. Don't get me wrong, when they are awake I still manage to get stuff done. Now that they are older and can entertain themselves more, I can do some cleaning and other chores. But I leave the big stuff for when they nap.
These girls have taught me how to enjoy the simple things of day-to-day life. Drinking coffee has a whole new meaning to it. Drinking hot coffee (keyword: hot) is something I never though about before! But now, I savor each and every sip. Waking up to a clean house is on another level. Walking into a spotless kitchen is pretty spectacular. Getting the motivation to clean at night once they are asleep can be hard to do. But man is it worth it.
Another thing that has improved with babies is my time management. When they nap, I am so much more efficient and amazed at all I'm able to do in an hour and half. I have learned to multi-task like a boss. If I'm walking down the hall with one baby I'll throw in a load of clothes in the wash. When I take one baby into her room to change her diaper, I'll bring in their clean clothes. While a bottle is warming up I'll load the dishwasher. Sure, I used to do all these things before, but now I feel like a super hero once I get it all done.
Life with twins is constant. If one is calm, the other is needy. If I hold one, the other begs for my attention. So I'm in no way saying that having twins is a piece of cake. But what I am trying to say, is that having twins has taught me how to devote un-distracted time to things. When I am with the girls, I am fully with them. It's so refreshing to see things through their eyes. They are taking in each and every thing around them for the first time. Seeing them develop and grow everyday is a pretty amazing thing. So if you have little ones enjoy those moments. Take a few minutes to breathe and not think of your never-ending list of things to do. (Does that list never end??) And while our house seems to always be a mess even though I'm cleaning all day long, I know I'll look back on these days and miss them so much. June and Violet, you are two amazing little girls and I thank you for showing me how to enjoy the simple moments in life.